Yes. That is my wish. That I would be something my mom can be proud of. I'm actually becoming teary-eyed while typing all of this.
I want to make my mom happy but how can I do that if I'm such a failure? Everything I do, I end up failing in one way or another.
My mom and I had a talk the other day and she promised me that no matter what happens or whatever I do with my life, she will always love me, support me, and be proud of me.
Its too much actually.
I don't think I deserve anything and everything that she's done for me so far.
I, honestly, don't want to be a screw up like most of my cousins in one side of the family. But by failing a subject, I already think I am. And I don't like being belittled coz I'm not smart at all and that I have cousins who really excel.
My life is tough really.
All the comparisons.
Sometimes, I just want to run away from it all.
There are time where I cry myself to sleep just thinking of what a failure I think I am.
But my mom says I'm not a failure. She says I'm actually really smart but I'm just really lazy.
I just hope that someday, I make my mama proud. I just hope I can give back to her what she has lost so that she could support me. Oh, a tear just went down my face and now i'm crying like hell.
I know this is too personal but there really is no place else for me to vent out and for me to express what I feel.
All this negativity need to go away. Seriously. But how though.
Hit me up on twitter, please. I need all the comforting and advice that I can get.
Forever a failure,
Elle ♥
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